MY BLOGATHON LIST (September, 2012)
1. CHARGE everything. Then find extension cord, power generators, alternative means of internet procurance, portable spacecraft landing strip, robot docking ports, and air guitar.
2. Decide if I am taking Smackbook Pro McCylon. No. I don’t need all this stuff. Just a trusty, stylish bluetooth keyboard and the iPad.
3. Pack a zillion batteries.
4. Decide if I am also taking AKG Robot headphones which make me look like a space alien. Do I also need music? Do I need to join spotify? I’m not really a Presence there yet.. What about the other Things that I am not really Present on? Should I join FourSquare? Will the Government stalk me if I do? Are they going to come find me with my iPhone if I turn the maps back on to re-find Blogathon?
These are important questions ….
5. Hydrate for inevitable coffee-related Rebellion since doctor said “don’t do that” and I said “NYAHH.” Fill bottle with good intentions even though there will be water at blogathon because this isn’t the Sahara yes they do feed us.
6. Lay out blogathon T-shirt, comfy pants, a light and easy-to-pack-away sweater, cool sweaty-wristband thing I got as swag from yelp.com at last years blogathon that you wipe away sheen of genius with, and blogathon-friendly-underwear which will not Bunch or Ride while I creep about The Place. Mental Note: Last year they also had that Sexy Water. Frowr.
7. get distracted from preparations by noticing someone is wrong upon the internet, as the saying goes… Find this heinously annoying. Think about making Sarcastic and Snippy Tweet-which-auto-posts-to-The-F’book which will somehow satisfy both
a. my soul
b. my deep animalistic need for vengeance, as yes of course it is my annoying ex from Long Ago but still that is besides the point and is Irrelevant Here…
c. the thirst friends, family, and fans seem to possess for my witty and exciting (and relevant!) content
d. my need to promote relevant content to an audience I’m sure will widen by tomorr…
8. EGADS! What am I doing on Spacebook obsessing about boys!? Good grief man!?!? What does my personal life have to do with my appearance on a guest blog? Already the people are snoring!!!
9. Sorely reminded of this, frantically dream up some “content” to fast growing and Professional webpage which now only redirects to silly personal blog.
10. Anywayy…Don’t forget gum or bandaids or advil or Lady Ahem! or paperclips or BUSINESS CARDS LIKE LAST YEAR YOU SILLY BANANANANA!
11. Shower. Because you won’t tomorrow. And your hair totally looks like the Fonz. Only not cool. The phrase “waxen sheen” comes to mind. Not good for photos.
Because Blogathon deserves that Extra Smile Mile.
13. Lay fantastic Twitter jewelry on top of clothes because you WILL have to turn around if you forget it.
14. Go over directions so you don’t have to put nose into iPhone whilst driving because that’s a good way to drive an old car off a new bridge.
15. Stop checking klout scores of other bloggers who are attending event while at same time, schooling face into casual unconcern and Yet reading articles determining if it “matters” or “not.” Decide that nobody cares about that sh…
16. Make informative notes about possible blog entry one might make Upon The Morrow, as you KNOW you will be ka-socializing. Laugh and realize that if you avoid rearing ugly heads of Tapeworm Identity or @SuspiciousDen, Doppelganger of your Surlier Self; this would be Professional, and a step ahead of the game.
17. Frantically figure out how to put content on thwarted little webpage. Remember Rome was not built in a day.
18. Remember to ask if anyone knows how long it actually DID take to build Rome, and if it ever, in fact, DID get finished?
The End. Love RangerDenni
ps. bring a pen. and paper. invariably you’ll have one of these items, but not the other.